Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Vatican red-carpet fashion

We love that Cardinal Ranjith took a chance
on this look but ....











Says The Onion, assessing The 8 Worst-Dressed At The Papal Conclave. Check it out - delicious stuff.
Meanwhile, at the other end of the sartorial scale, Wellington is awash with cruiseliner passengers in leisure wear. Eight thousand of them yesterday alone, with three ships in port, including the Queen Mary.
Manmade fabrics are de rigeur, and "leisure" seems to be interpreted as a curious hybrid of his-and-hers, urban-guerilla/outward-bound/warzone photographer style. Frankly I prefer vestments. 

Friday, February 1, 2013

Nit-wear

Most us over the age of 30 have reason to regret something or other in our pasts. But those who managed to avoid modelling knitting patterns back in the 60s, 70s and 80s have a lot to be grateful for.














 
And I'd love to hear from anyone willing to share her experience of wearing a knitted bikini.
 


Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A reader asks ...

"Do you think I'd look good in these? I'd obviously wear them with shoes."



Dear N, you are joking, aren't you. It wouldn't matter what you wore them with, they are irredeemably hideous.
The Oxford bags portrayed in a recent post were of soft, quality fabric, hence Ms H's comment that they "they drape a little, they flow a little" when men are dancing. Denim does neither of these - it's stiff and ungainly, designed to be a hard-working fabric. It never adapts gracefully to excess yardage.
Does that answer your question?

Running gear

This chap made international news late last year when a Tauranga High Court judge reversed his previous District Court conviction for offensive behaviour. 
Tip-toeing through the daisies, he is the picture of innocence. Suggesting that the woman who originally came upon him in the wild and called the police was a tight-lipped, prune-faced killjoy. 
Maybe she was. But I'm not inclined to condemn her out of hand. I'd be startled too if I were alone in an isolated spot and Naked Jogger ran out of the undergrowth. Startled and a bit scared. 
 
Roll on the day when we women can be comfortably naked in public without attracting unwelcome attention - from the law or anyone else.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Bags

A delightful post on MsHedgehog's blog, accompanied by this cartoon from 1925.




And Ms H notes that:
there is a fashion among tangueros for rather wideish trousers, which certainly do look very nice in motion, if you get it right, and especially if you dance well; they drape a little, they flow a little, and the way the toes peep out, in their soft, pleasingly stitched and coloured dancing shoes, is charming. If you overdo it, you can look like a traffic cone. If you are not so young and you really overdo it, you can look like a Vampire. And if you dance badly you just look foolish.
And, this can happen.
But risks are the whole point of difficult garments. Seeking to answer the question "can I carry off this possibly ill-advised style?" correctly is a rather basic part of being a human whose immediate needs are met. It exercises the artistic sense, and teaches modesty and wisdom. Enjoy your trousers. Beauty is always dangerous.
I applaud the point she makes in that last paragraph.
 

Provincial style

Bank, Whanganui

Monday, January 14, 2013

From the Department of I-wish-I'd-thought-of-that


Simplicity 9935

I've long enjoyed this site, and it's time I brought it to your attention. The blogger sews, but also delights in bringing us old sewing patterns and either attaching little stories to them or attributing dialogue to their often weirdly posed models. This one goes: 

Alison: Okay girls, everyone straight on the mission? Find your target,      then catch, clamp, drag. Celia, you’re without a bridesmaid today, you gonna be good on your own?
Celia: No worries, Sarge, I got this. I’ll bring back a good one.
Alison: Bridesmaids, don’t be hasty. Select those targets with care. Catch and release was last week, this is live fire exercise. Repeat, this is a live fire exercise. I’ll see everyone back at Pastor Rivendale’s at 3 pm sharp, or the ice cream cake is gonna be soggy by the time we’re through with the ceremonies. Now — are we ready?
All: Hoo-AH!

Here are a couple more:

Simplicity 2509

While Dulcie went on and on about how handsome, clever, and innocent her new prison pen pal was, Laura watched her rib cage carefully. Could Dulcie beat her all-time record of 41 words per breath?

Simplicity_7804


Floral: Look. Look into my midriff mandala. Lose your "self" and become one with creation.
Yellow: I represent the Sun, and thus life itself.
Green: I represent all other living things, given life by the Sun. Or, possibly, avocados. It's hard to tell. I mean, my midriff triangle could represent the avocado seed, right?

Daft but fun, don't you think. And since I own a whopping carton of dress patterns going back to the early 60s, I really do wish I'd thought of this myself.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Style drive












Our usual reaction to other people's revelations tends to be "duh". But in the interests of fairness, I'm going to share this one with you: some people feel about cars the way I do about personal style, and - this is the crucial point - there's not a single argument against doing so that I don't freely employ in defence of my own obsession.
This became clear to me rather late in life. Just the other day, in fact. G pointed out a sporty red Mazda for sale down the road and urged me to buy it. His preliminary arguments were three-fold:
  1. it was a good buy, and these little numbers are hard to find
  2. if I didn't have enough spare cash, he would lend it to me
  3. my current car is scruffy. 












This is not my current car, but a well-cared for version of it - a 1999 Mazda Demio. Mine is much less shiny, to the point that spiders make their homes in and around the bumpers. It has a few minor dings, a bashed-in number plate, and a missing hubcap.
On the plus side, as I briskly informed G, it's what's known as a great little runner. It's just flown through its latest warrant, and in the five years it's waited patiently at the end of the path to do my bidding, it hasn't once let me down. Why would I want to get rid of it?
This is when reason number 4 (and what I soon sensed was the real reason for G's concern) came into play: my shabby Demio was inappropriate to one of my general stylishness and good taste (sorry, but this is a direct quote, and yes, of course he's biased); I ought to be at the wheel of something much classier.
Interesting, that moral imperative. Millions of Americans know, of course,  that by their car they shall be judged, and I daresay a good number of New Zealanders too.
But also interesting was that up to this point in my life I'd never considered the vehicle I (or anyone else) drove represented - or should that be "presented"? - me. I'm perfectly happy to step out of my little car dressed up to the nines - outside a milonga, for instance. And if other people find that odd or wrong or ... whatever, it's not my problem.
Which is exactly how many feel about clothes, shoes, hair and the rest of it. They'll wear what's cheap/easy/comfortable, thanks very much, and they're not going to give a toss about whether it makes them look good. Why waste time and money on such frivolities? Aren't those who do, a little ... well, suspect? Possibly even shallow? And isn't this the kind of rampant consumerism that's bringing the world to its knees? And so on.


Grace Kelly at the wheel











After several days' consideration my answer to these questions is a firm yes and no.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Joggling

At the time of the nude run, one of Pointon's neighbours said he was a "lovely neighbour''.

Spotted!


Suzanne Giacometti, "spotted" on
Lambton Quay, Wellington





























Even if she were not a dear friend, I'd applaud this "Style File" shot run in this week's Capital Times: 
1. Because - as always - Suzanne looks stylish but not try-hard or over the top.
2. Because she's une femme d'un certain age, not a kid - and well done that photographer.
3. Because she's smart, smart, smart - in normal life as well as on the page, and I love her answers to the routine questions:

WHERE ARE YOU IN THIS PICTURE?
In front of the Supreme Court, about to jump on a bus to Unity Books for the celebration of the 100th issue of New Zealand Books: A Quarterly Review.

I AM …
a Parliamentary Counsel; I draft legislation.

I GOT MY OUTFIT FROM …
Suzanne Giacometti! I made it from silk fabric and lining that I bought from the Fabric Warehouse. The shoes and earrings I purchased on a tango-dancing trip to Buenos Aires.

IT REFLECTS MY PERSONALITY BECAUSE …
it’s “slightly flamboyant,” says a fellow drafter of legislation.

I’D NEVER BE CAUGHT DEAD WEARING …
shapeless, dull clothes.

IF MONEY WEREN’T AN ISSUE, I’D FILL MY WARDROBE WITH …
well-cut clothes made of beautiful fabrics, and shoes and bags to match.

WHO’S YOUR STYLE ICON?
Dior, because his designs reflected the beauty of the female body, without sacrificing boldness, elegance, and taste.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Outwards and upwards

Dan Carter in his undergrunds















What a pleasure to read Douglas Lloyd Jenkins in this week's Listener on the subject of men's underpants. Wipe that smirk off your face - what I mean is that the piece is informative, well-written and entertaining, taking this everyday item of male attire as a worthy subject for investigation.
I've written of blokes' underpants before, noting the arrival on the scene of the bulge- and bum-enhancing items retailed by Marks & Spencer. But Jenkins ranges over centuries in his discussion of changing jock fashions. One particular juicy note is struck by his observation that, had historical TV drama costume designers really paid attention to detail, the viewer would have been left in no doubt how Mr Darcy's parents felt about  circumcision, so tight would his pants have been. Gosh. 
One delight is the number of elegant variations on male genitals that Jenkins comes up with - "male package", "key assets", "this body part", "male parts", "problematically positioned elements", "personal equipment", "bulge", "male componentry".
He points out, near the end of the article, that Kiwi men worry not so much about wearing "enhancing underwear" but about its removal: "particularly in amorous first-encounter circumstances - given that this is a moment with which men don't, in any way, want the term "disappointment" associated."
I laughed out loud, not just at the skill with which Jenkins expressed his point, but in recognition of the fact that - as a small-breasted woman - I have for the same reason always been nervous of enhancement by means of foam, wire and jel. Sooner or later, the truth will out.  


Unknown model displays a marvel
of engineering



 

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Veronika Maine-chance continued

So. One lunch hour, S, who is a very busy woman, returned to the store with her useless pants and, after a bit more palaver was handed $175. Money, I mean. Actual folding stuff.
What the ...! When I was given a piece of plastic and a deadline for redeeming it?
Thus did I make my third visit to the Willis Street store, to ask a Counter Person if someone could explain this discrepancy in S's and my treatment when we were returning goods for exactly the same reason. CP couldn't explain it but promised someone would call to do so.
They did. To my astonishment they bypassed my question altogether and said that if I brought the card into the shop I too would be refunded in cash.
In I went. But of course it was never going to be that simple.
Once more "the system" was to make its unreasonable demands on us mere mortals. It wouldn't let CP simply open the till and give me the money. Oh no. It had to be appeased by a ritual offering: I would have to buy something to the value of the card, using the card, then return what I'd bought, at which point I could I have my money.
This had to be explained twice before I dimly perceived that the purchase would be a charade and the return instant.
So this was how I came to be directed to the racks to pretend to choose what I was going to pretend to buy using my pretend card so that I could pretend to return it so that they could pretend to give me my (real) money back on the item I never wanted in the first place.
By now dazed and confused, I browsed in the hope of finding something I vaguely liked in the right size at the right price. I'd slipped into some kind of parallel universe and the chances of getting out in one piece seemed to be diminishing by the second.
But the human brain is a wonderful thing. It was only a matter of minutes  before I realised a) that it mattered not a jot what was pushed across the counter, and b) it wasn't my job to search the racks but CP's.
We settled on a striped blazer, on sale at $179. The sort of thing a private-school mother would wear to the school gala. I "returned" it enthusiastically.
Rapidly restoring my grip on the situation, I offered to hand over the extra $4 so that CP could proceed to dump the value of the blazer straight back into my account via EFTPOS. She did so. And with one bound I was free.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Veronika Maine-chance

Let its website do the talking:
Veronika Maine has stores across Australia and New Zealand .... With a commitment to excellent customer service and a love of fashion, the Veronika Maine team look forward to welcoming you in store soon.
Now keep in mind that phrase "commitment to excellent customer service" and their claim to "high quality finishes" while I tell you a tale.
Just over a year ago, S bought a pair of skinny stretch pants from the VM store in Willis Street, Wellington. They looked great - full length with zips just above the ankle, and form-fitting without looking cheap, because the fabric was thickish and of good quality. So impressed was I that a couple of weeks later, I went to the store, tried some on and parted with $175. Not eye-wateringly expensive, but enough - I think you'll agree - to be confident they'd last more than one season.
As it turned out, they didn't. About to board a plane for Melbourne in September, I bent over to pick something up, and G pointed out that I was coming apart at the seams. My bum was about to be exposed, necessitating a quick change.
When I got back, I mentioned this to S, and when she checked she discovered her pants were splitting in the same way. It wasn't a simple matter of the thread breaking. The fabric was actually tearing on either side of the thread, making both pairs not just unwearable but irreparable. 
A week or so later we visited the store with our pants and politely expressed our disappointment to the person behind the counter. And this is where VM's definition of excellent customer service gets interesting.
Counter Person studied the pants, picking and pulling at the back seams while S - a sewer of the first order - suggested the problem was caused by using a needle not designed for use on stretch fabric.
Counter Person continued to pick and pull as if conducting a forensic investigation. Which apparently it was. Because unless we could return to the store with proofs of purchase, there was nothing "they" could do because we might have bought the pants on Trademe, mightn't we?
The idea that two middle-aged women had bought second-hand pants online, then either discovered they were damaged goods or else damaged the pants themselves, and cooked up this story as a way of getting the pants replaced by the original maker was so ludicrous as to border on insulting.
In vain did we protest that it was unlikely we could provide proof of purchase. A bank statement would do, she said. There was nothing to do but capitulate.
I pushed my pants across the counter for them to hold until such time as I returned with the wretched proof of purchase. Counter Person pushed them back, shaking her head: "No, you keep them for now."
I pushed them back again, shaking mine: "I don't want to have to bring them in again."
Still murmuring about company policy and what "some people" do try and get away with, she took our contact details and promised someone would be in touch.
And they were. A few days later I was rung by a young woman who said it was all cleared, and I should go in to wrap things up.
Back in the store, I dealt with another woman, one with an advanced qualification in Dealing with Difficult Customers. The chat-and-gush-and-smile routine never let up. She acted as if she were bestowing on me a wonderful gift and what a lovely time we were all having.
The pants were no longer in stock. So I ended up with a piece of plastic worth $175, which must be redeemed in the store within 12 months. I left feeling somewhat short-changed. A time limit on a refund?
S went down a week later to supply a copy of her bank statement. But oh dear, she had bought two items that day in 2011 and they needed to track back through their system to isolate the pants in question. This involved much communing with the computer, while S cooled her heels, waiting.
Finally - triumph! - they found it. Now, where were the pants?
At home, said S.
"Oh but we need to have them."
"Nobody told me that."
"They should have. You have to return the faulty ones otherwise ..."
Otherwise S could be pulling a swifty by holding onto a pair of pants she can no longer wear?
She drew herself up her full, very full, height. She spoke loudly and clearly, to the interest of other shoppers flicking the racks: if she were to come back to the store again, that would make three visits to sort out something that should have been dealt with in one. She stalked out.
I'll let you know what happens if and when S returns to the store with the useless pants.
Meanwhile, for your information, Veronika Maine, chat-and-gush-and-smile is not customer service. It's a smokescreen and a shield, designed not to help the customer but to defend the firm and its staff.
Customer service means, first and foremost, standing by your products. It means giving any reasonable customer the benefit of the doubt when you've sold products that turn out to be unfit for purpose. It means dealing with the matter swiftly and efficiently, and with at least one decent apology for the customer's disappointment and inconvenience. It means avoiding veiled accusations of foulplay and imposing still futher customer inconvenience. Smart retail outlets strenthen customer loyalty by the way they deal with customer dissatisfaction. Sure I'll have to go back to the store to "spend" my "refund", but that will be the last time. Veronika Maine has lost two customers.













Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Pop off!











I know you've noticed but bear with me as I record my own irritation. Nothing is red or yellow or orange anymore. Instead it's a "pop of colour". Or it just plain "pops".
Don't believe me? Go here and here and here. These all popped up (sorry) on the first page of a Google search. And Gala Darling makes sure to repeat her crime in the very next line, in case we didn't pick it up in the header.

How To Look Fabulous When It's Frigid Outside: My List Of Winter Essentials!
A pop of colour!

I always think it’s lovely to wear a pop of colour in cold weather.
 
Hey, fashion journos and bloggers - noun or verb - this is now officially a cliche! And, amongst other duties, it's your job to avoid cliches. Or don't you expect to be read? Do you and your editors assume we're all just looking at the pictures? In which case, get a real job!

Friday, October 19, 2012

This might sting a bit

.












It's been a long time since I last had a wiggly tooth. My final baby incisor fell out when I was 16. I was long past believing in the Tooth Fairy, or anything much except the unfairness of life, so no sixpence under the pillow for me. Just an embrrassing gap for the next 20 years. And a permanent memento of my delayed development in the form of my first passport photo.
Eventually it occured to me that I didn't have to keep cowering behind my hand when I laughed, that as an adult I could spend the money I earned on something that would make me feel better. So I had  a bridge made, and from that moment grinned freely and often. Sometimes when a grin wasn't even justified.
Imagine my dismay, then, to discover some decades on that I had another loose tooth.
I poked it. I wriggled it. I tried to believe I was imagining it. I went into denial for a week or two. I began poking and wriggling again, sometimes in the dead of night, as if I might be able to creep up on it before it had time to pretend to be loose. I had dreams of losing all my teeth and being unable to make myself understood or eat anything but baby food.
Finally I went online in the expectation of being told not to worry, that everyone from time to time got wiggly teeth, and that it would soon see sense and tighten up again.
In fact, online told me I probably had gum disease. Worse, it said that this was most likely caused by poor dental hygiene.
I reeled back in horror and fled to the bathroom. I flossed so long and so fiercely that for an hour afterwards all my teeth hummed and moaned. Then I made an  appointment to see the dentist.
She didn't call my tooth loose or wriggly - she called it "mobile". I thought that rather overstated the situation, as if the damn thing were practically nomadic. Nor did she tell me not to worry. She said I had done the right thing in coming to see her and that something would have to be done.
You know when they say that you're not going to get off lightly. There will be pain, quite a lot of it, and mostlyu in the wallet.
I won't bore you with the details. The upshot is that the tooth is loose not because of my sloppy personal habits but because for 30 years it's been having to do a disproportionate amount of the chewing work. 
I must learn to chew on the other side of my mouth, and that's where she will construct a second bridge to take the strain.
If it it all goes to plan, my smile will be unaffected. After I've recovered from paying for it, that is.



Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Tweeting (the old-fashioned way)

It's pushing it for a style blog to get "twitchy", but I have to tell someone - two regular visitors to the fuschia outside my bathroom window are a pair of hihi or stitchbirds. They caught my eye the other morning as I peered out looking for the source of the constant twittering. (Years ago, in another house, I ignored a similar sound, then discovered it was caused by a local cat ruthlessly decimating a nest of baby thrushes over the course of an afternoon.)
The pair I saw was banded like this one, so I knew it was special. Hihi are one of the country's rarest endangered birds.











They were back again just now, this time sucking upsidedown on either side of a cluster of native fushcia blooms, talking incessantly to one another.
I was outside, only about a metre away, but they ignored me (a feature that helped identify them, as they're know to be too tame for their own good). Torn between continuing to watch and wanting to fetch my camera, I stayed rooted to the spot until they moved on, still chattering.
The picture shows a male. The female, you won't be surprised to hear, is somewhat less showy - a drab olive.
So this was about style after all.

Monday, October 8, 2012

The Princess of Balaclava


















Seen on Carlisle Street with her attendant Dad, she was modest but dignified, as befits a real princess.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Free and Selfe

For decades now teens have been turned out onto catwalks and before the camera looking drugged, starved, terminally ill, and as if they are trying to think deeply about the meaning of life and failing. No doubt it will go on a few decades more.
So I make no bold claim for noting a new trend in modelling. It's nice, though, to know of a couple of successful models who are bucking convention. And no, I'm not talking about this personification of the current pretty-zombie look ...

Andrej Pejic














Yes, Andrej is a boy's name, and Andrej is officially a boy. I don't even want to get into what this has to say about fashion's perception of womanhood. 
I'm speaking, rather, of two (so far as I can tell) genuine women - Charlotte Free and Daphne Selfe.

Charlotte Free














Free (and it is her real name) is a 19-year-old Californian with the bloom of youth on her cheek, and blond-pink hair. So far, so ordinary. But here's another shot of her ... unshaven armpit and all.










 
She says she's a feminist. And while a determination not to shave and an insistence on colouring her own hair at home might not meet some people's definition of the term, good luck to her. I like her style.
Daphne Selfe is by no means another new face on the international modelling scene. This is her back in the day ...
 
Daphne Selfe
But even putting aside the silly 50s pose, I reckon she looks a hundred times more arresting now ...
 
Daphne Selfe
Selfe is 83. She left modelling when she married and had children (as you did back when they were taking pictures of women like that first one). Then, in 1999, she appeared in Marie Claire and her career took off again. 
"I’ve never had anything done to my face,” she told a reporter. “Not that [botox] poison, not a face-lift. I think it’s a waste of money. Anyway, I couldn’t afford it!
“I’ve never really bothered with skin cream or anything like that, although I might use a bit of Boots."
She went gray in her 40s, and gave up coloring her hair. “My hair is long now because it’s cheaper. I don’t have to do anything but put it in a topknot or a French pleat,” she said. “It avoids that old lady permed look ..."
What a beauty!

Velvet fantasy

Today, in Caffe Mode


















This sweet young thing laughed when I asked if I could take a picture of her luscious silk-velvet coat - her boyfriend had just expressed his dislike of it. He wore a conservative gray suit. Beside him, she was a walking work of art.
Certainly the coat's unstructured floppiness, hood and lavish embroidery veered towards the hippie end of the style spectrum, but the wearer's bright red lipstick struck a contrasting note.
N, who was with me, suggested she change boyfriends.