Nit-wear

Most us over the age of 30 have reason to regret something or other in our pasts. But those who managed to avoid modelling knitting patterns back in the 60s, 70s and 80s have a lot to be grateful for.

 

And I'd love to hear from anyone willing to share her experience of wearing a knitted bikini.

 



The wrong end of the stick. Er, needle

Since I clicked on the cover of Knit Your Own Royal Wedding, a couple of weeks ago, Amazon has pigeonholed me as a knitting fanatic avid to hear of any and all new books on the subject. Here's the latest.
I remember on some sitcom or other, a man newly out of a long marriage asking a buddy, "Whatever happened to pubic hair?" I seem to be equally out of touch. Whatever happened to jersies and scarves? Does everyone now knit ... these things?
Whatever they are, one thing's for sure - romantic they ain't!

All right, I'll stop now. But where are the instructions for knitting a boyfriend?

The Leaving-You-Speechless Department

The cover of Knit Your Own Royal Wedding, which you can order here  if you don't believe me.
Or, of course, if you actually want step-by-step instructions for whipping up Prince William, Kate Middleton, the Queen, Prince Harry, Prince Charles, Camilla, the Archbishop, and a corgi in wool, as well as vital accessories like "top hat and tails, different styles of hats, a Union Jack, bunting, and more".
What more could there possibly be?
Ah, yes - "an illustrated foldout of Westminster Abbey" in the back cover pocket, and beautifully illustrated pages telling the story of William and Kate's courtship.
Surely this breaks in virgin handcrafts territory. Knitting-wise, the sky is now the limit. We can look forward to Knit Your Own Execution (with its sly postmodern reference to Madam Defarge), Knit Your Own Home (the perfect gift for that stay-at-home parent longing to move up the property ladder), and Knit Your Own Overseas Trip for those who can't stand foreign food and plumbing, ill-formed queues and people who know how to speak English but pretend they can't.