Monday, January 14, 2013

From the Department of I-wish-I'd-thought-of-that

Simplicity 9935

I've long enjoyed this site, and it's time I brought it to your attention. The blogger sews, but also delights in bringing us old sewing patterns and either attaching little stories to them or attributing dialogue to their often weirdly posed models. This one goes: 

Alison: Okay girls, everyone straight on the mission? Find your target,      then catch, clamp, drag. Celia, you’re without a bridesmaid today, you gonna be good on your own?
Celia: No worries, Sarge, I got this. I’ll bring back a good one.
Alison: Bridesmaids, don’t be hasty. Select those targets with care. Catch and release was last week, this is live fire exercise. Repeat, this is a live fire exercise. I’ll see everyone back at Pastor Rivendale’s at 3 pm sharp, or the ice cream cake is gonna be soggy by the time we’re through with the ceremonies. Now — are we ready?
All: Hoo-AH!

Here are a couple more:

Simplicity 2509

While Dulcie went on and on about how handsome, clever, and innocent her new prison pen pal was, Laura watched her rib cage carefully. Could Dulcie beat her all-time record of 41 words per breath?


Floral: Look. Look into my midriff mandala. Lose your "self" and become one with creation.
Yellow: I represent the Sun, and thus life itself.
Green: I represent all other living things, given life by the Sun. Or, possibly, avocados. It's hard to tell. I mean, my midriff triangle could represent the avocado seed, right?

Daft but fun, don't you think. And since I own a whopping carton of dress patterns going back to the early 60s, I really do wish I'd thought of this myself.

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