How not to win customers and make sales

Hi-i! Can I help you? Right, not a problem, but just so you know, like it says on the sign, it’s 25% off everything unless it’s already marked down in which case it’s $25 off a second item of the same value or less if you sign up for our loyalty programme or are you already a member and … yes, lovely top, isn’t it, so versatile, a friend bought one and she came back and bought that dress over there and she wore them together at the weekend and it was a great look, and yes, that’s a cool jacket and a good price for quality, isn’t it, no, that’s meant to be like that or perhaps it wasn’t steamed properly when it came in, I’m sure it would iron out, oh yes, those pants are so versatile, day into evening, that’s a lovely skirt with that flower print right on trend now, sort of spring into summer, it would be lovely on you and perfect with those shoes there, no the coral ones, but the red is nice too, would you like to try those, might as well see now you’re here, having a day shopping are you, well, if there’s anything I can help you with … oh, OK, by-ee, have a nice day.