An illustration of the foolishness of consulting sons on dress codes

No one was looking to me, I hope, for guidance on the question of appropriate Chinese wedding wear. Here is a more or less verbatim transcript of today's messages on that topic between the son in China (J) and his mother (Plain Jane) in New Zealand. S is J's fiancee.

J: Sorry, black dress not really OK, neither is white

PJ: S's view?

J: Yes, I asked her. But now she's kind of flipped-flopped

PJ: Will find something else

J: S says that if it's OK in the free west then it's OK for her

PJ: I think if she's in doubt, I should avoid it

J: S is wearing white which is also wrong, so she says actually black'll be fine. And I'm wearing cut-off jeans and jandals, so whatever

[brief pause]

J: Black is OK, to confirm black is now OK

PJ: I might ask again nearer the time. I don't want to cause a stir or do something her friends and relatives might not like.

J: S is wearing some kind of fomal white dress (I guess you'd call it a wedding dress). As for me, I'm not sure anymore. I only have jeans and sneakers

PJ: Which means you will have to get a suit made or buy one. That's what people do, you know.

J: Hmmm. Hoi An [where we're all going after the wedding] is a good place for getting suits made, maybe I can buy one afterwards. If people know I am planning to buy a suit maybe thats enough ...

JP: Stop teasing S! Actually none of the stuff I had made in Hoi An worked out that well.

J: I can get a custom suit for $150 Sophie tells me

PJ: Yes, of course

J: Some ill-fitting rayon job, no doubt

[brief pause]

All scratchy

[brief pause]

Fire hazard

PJ: Get fine wool, you clot. If you get a fairly classic cut it should last a decade or so.

J: Sounds like a lot of hard work. Maybe I've bitten off more than I can chew ...

PJ: I'm now officially ordering S to clock you one!