How not to win customers and make sales

Hi-i! Can I help you? Right, not a problem, but just so you know, like it says on the sign, it’s 25% off everything unless it’s already marked down in which case it’s $25 off a second item of the same value or less if you sign up for our loyalty programme or are you already a member and … yes, lovely top, isn’t it, so versatile, a friend bought one and she came back and bought that dress over there and she wore them together at the weekend and it was a great look, and yes, that’s a cool jacket and a good price for quality, isn’t it, no, that’s meant to be like that or perhaps it wasn’t steamed properly when it came in, I’m sure it would iron out, oh yes, those pants are so versatile, day into evening, that’s a lovely skirt with that flower print right on trend now, sort of spring into summer, it would be lovely on you and perfect with those shoes there, no the coral ones, but the red is nice too, would you like to try those, might as well see now you’re here, having a day shopping are you, well, if there’s anything I can help you with … oh, OK, by-ee, have a nice day.

Shopping on Mars and Venus

A nice young couple among the shelves of photo frames in one of Briscoes' recurring sales.

Her: (swooping) There are nice pink and blue ones here. Your thoughts?
Him: Nice.
Her: Which one - pink or blue?
Him: (after the slightest hesitation) Blue. She knows I like blue ...
Her: Have you seen the pink? The pink is nice.
Him: Either/or. Pink or blue.  

Actually, I hate that Mars and Venus stuff (anatomy is not destiny; I can read a map much better than The X ever could and I hate asking directions), but I thought this brief exchange nicely illustrated two shopping styles and what happens when they meet head on in a relationship.
She inspected everything and, having narrowed down the options, presented him with them. She wasn't against the blue, but wanted to be sure he'd properly assessed its appeal relative to the pink, and come to a considered decision. Her interrogation made him think she wanted the pink, so he immediately gave in.
I didn't hang around to see which one they finally bought. They might well have ended up with the one nobody wanted. I moved on the towel aisles, glad to have no one to consider but myself.